Every so often I have an acute sense of my irrelevance to the world of engine development, along with (perhaps as a result) a strong feeling of pointlessness. Now, irrelevance does not imply that something is pointless, since there can be many reasons to do something, and the feeling of pointlessness I have is an overreaction. But although this sense of irrelevance is self-indulgent and melodramatic, I don’t think the observation is incorrect.
To be clear, this irrelevance is at least partially self-imposed, although I’m not sure I could choose to be different. I’ve never felt I belonged in the online community, my pride is too easily wounded, and I work too slowly. (As to why I feel I don’t belong, I can only conjecture hazily: priorities, personality, preferences? I’ve never attempted to socialize online before.)
I’ve found that the most straightforward way to get around to enjoying the hobby again is – surprisingly! – to succumb to the destructive impulse and to retract from the public square. (One could make the grim observation that people are a bit like engines in that futility pruning becomes a temptation in response to the perception of futility.) In the past, I’ve simply removed the contents of Expositor’s repository temporarily; this time I’ve obliterated it completely.
However, you’re still more than welcome to continue distributing her source per
the allowances of the license
^ ^